Whataya Want From Me
by FlamboyantlyBiBoy
Summary: After Kurt finds out about Blaine's secret, he leaves. Blaine needs him back to save his life and decides to tell him so. Slash, Self-harm, talk of suicide, and KLAINE! T to be safe. The title is after a song and the only reason it's spelled like that.
1. It's Me I'm A Freak

Kurt Hummel was on his way over to the Anderson house; over to Blaine. They hadn't seen each other in a few weeks due to Blaine's traveling and the fact that they lived an hour apart. However, today Kurt was going to see his boyfriend. They were going to kiss and cuddle while watching a movie. They were going to just _be _together. It was still early, but that wasn't going to be a problem. Blaine slept out in the pool house so Kurt wouldn't be disturbing his parents.

Even though Blaine knew that Kurt was coming over before the sun was peeking into his window, the curly haired boy was still asleep. The night before had been hard on him. Blaine had been suffering from depression since his hormones kicked in at twelve, but the night before had been one of the worse nights in a long time. His parents had fought. Again. Topic of choice; Blaine and his sexual orientation. Even with the shouts not loud enough for Blaine to understand every word, he got the point. To add to the neighbor's complaints, the sounds of breaking glass in the pool house were almost as loud. Even after the yelling stopped, Blaine was still at it. Not smashing glass, but "playing" with the glass shards. Blood was on the sheets and broken glass littered the floor when the poor boy finally passed out. So, yes, sleep was deserved.

Kurt, however, knew none of this. Not even of the depression. So, when he walked around to Blaine's room and found the door unlocked, he figured that Blaine was just expecting him. Once he walked in, however, it was clear that wasn't the case. Slowly, his eyes traveled to the sleeping Blaine. Taking in his boyfriend's appearance, almost mad Kurt cry. Almost.

There were streaks of blood across his cheeks, arms, legs and shirt, and there were several pieces of glass on the bed next to him. Wearing nothing but boxers and a tank-top there was a lot of skin exposed, and with it scars. '_Past inflictions,' _Kurt thought.

Without really thinking, Kurt started to sweep up the glass. Normally, he would tend to Blaine first but there was too much going on in his mind that he didn't want to touch the boy. He'd stopped bleeding anyway.

By the time all the glass was in the trash can, Blaine was stirring. Kurt had gone over to him now and was cleaning the cuts on his arms.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked softly, only half awake. He got no answer and slowly went to sit up but a hand on his chest stopped him.

"Don't move; not until I'm done." Kurt said, refusing to look at anything but the deep wounds.

Hesitantly, Blaine moved back into his laying position. From the way Kurt was acting, he was mad. No, mad wasn't even strong enough. But Blaine didn't have a better word. Furious? …Sad? The boy before him wasn't in his normal, designer clothes. Instead, a light cotton t-shirt and jean shorts with his hair loose. It was the most beautiful that Blaine had ever seen him. Not because of the clothing but what he was doing. Kurt wasn't turning away from him or screaming, but sitting there at least semi-calm and tending to the leftovers.

Finally, Kurt stood up and retreated into the bathroom. After a second, Blaine followed, "Kurt…?"

"…What?" Kurt answered, looking at Blaine through the mirror. Suddenly, Blaine knew that Kurt wasn't calm at all and was defiantly furious.

When Blaine didn't answer, Kurt turned and headed for the door, "Kurt!"

He stopped and turned toward Blaine, tears shining in his eyes, "What? What could you possibly say to make this look any better? Somebody… broke in last night and attacked you? Or you tripped on the glass and cut yourself? How about the truth? You're depressed and suicidal." Blaine didn't answer for a minute and before he could say anything Kurt kept going, "You didn't have to do it. You could have called me or…somebody, but you didn't have to do that."

"Kurt…"

"I want you to be happy…but clearly, you're not." He turned and walked out of the door.

Blaine went over to it and called after him, "What are you doing?"

"…Taking myself out of the equation…Call me when you've got everything sorted out." And he left. The best thing in Blaine's life; the one person that was keeping him alive…just walked out of the gate and was out of site.

As Kurt slid into the car, he prayed to Gaga that Blaine wouldn't try to come after him. The car wouldn't be moving until Kurt could stop crying and it didn't feel like that would be anytime soon. Maybe, not until Blaine "got everything sorted out."


	2. Just Don't Give Up On Me

It was the first day of school, and none of the Gleeks had seen Blaine Anderson. They knew of the Klaine break-up, and figured that Blaine had returned to Dalton, "Where he belonged." Kurt had said.

"He's been acting weird since it happened," Finn had told them at lunch, glancing over at his step-brother who was in line to get food, "Hardly, eating or sleeping and refusing to talk about it."

"Of course, Finn. It was his first break-up and…" Quinn lowered her voice, "I think he still loves Blaine."

"Kurt did the breaking. That's all I've managed to get out of him." Finn protested.

"Just…give him time."

At that moment, Kurt came up and sat down with them. Instantly, the conversation turned to music and their summers. However, just as Finn had said, Kurt didn't talk much and ate even less.

By the time Glee rolled around, everybody could agree that something was wrong with the male soprano. He was dressed the same as always but acted more like he had before Dalton. Moody, quiet, rarely excited…depressed.

As they filed into the choir room, a strange sit met their eyes. A boy was standing by the piano and talking to Mr. Schue. The boy was clad in black skinny jeans, a black and green striped long sleeve shirt with black Converse. Slightly spiked black hair and a emerald green studded belt finishing his look.

The two were talking avidly while everybody else took their seats. Everyone, even Kurt, was interested in the stranger.

"Okay, okay." Mr. Schue finally said. Something glimmered in the boy's eyeliner rimmed eyes…hope. He was hopeful of something.

The boy took his seat and before anybody (even Rachel) could say anything, Mr. Schue spoke again, "Welcome back everybody. Before we get down to business, we have an audition." Mr. Schue took a seat as the boy got up.

Surprisingly, he didn't seem nervous. It looked like he had auditioned before and knew the drill, but if you looked too closely there was a slight, darting fear in his eyes.

"Right…so name and stuff," He said and three sets of eyes widened, "Um, Blaine Anderson, Senior."

Everybody was staring at him in wonder now. Everybody, that is, but one Kurt Hummel. Kurt stood and looked ready to walk out of the room without a backward glance, but Blaine's voice stopped him, "Kurt, I know you're mad, and you have every right to be. But…please, just, hear me out?" Kurt stopped, "Please?"

Slowly, Kurt sat back down. He didn't look happy about it, though.

Blaine sighed, and looked over at the band. An electric guitar started playing and after a few cords, drums followed. Closely, followed by the vocals.

"Hey, slow it downWhat do you want from meWhat do you want from meYeah, I'm afraidWhat do you want from meWhat do you from me"

That got Kurt's attention. He had helped Blaine with his song for the audition, but this wasn't the one they had worked on…

"There might have been a timeI would give myself away(Ooh) Once upon a timeI didn't give a damnBut now here we areSo what do you want from meWhat do you want from me"

Blaine's hands were twisted together and running down his leg. He was focused on Kurt, desperate for the other boy to get it.

"Just don't give upI'm workin' it outPlease don't give inI won't let you downIt messed me up, need a second to breatheJust keep coming aroundHey, what do you want from meWhat do you want from me"

The singer's gaze hardened after the first chorus. This was it; the main part that Kurt needed to get. He felt like he was boring holes in Kurt, but at least the boy was meeting his eyes.

"Yeah, it's plain to seethat baby you're beautifulAnd there's nothing wrong with youIt's me – I'm a freakbut thanks for lovin' meCause you're doing it perfectlyThere might have been a timeWhen I would let you slip awayI wouldn't even try but I thinkyou could save my life"

Silent tears ran down Blaine's face. The song told the truth, and that was what he had told Mr. Schue. Without Kurt, his life was in danger of being taken.

"Just don't give upI'm workin' it outPlease don't give inI won't let you downIt messed me up, need a second to breatheJust keep coming aroundHey, what do you want from meWhat do you want from me"

The tears fell faster but he had to finish the song; he had to make Kurt understand that it wasn't because of him.

"Just don't give up on meI won't let you downNo, I won't let you downSoJust don't give upI'm workin' it outPlease don't give inI won't let you downIt messed me up, need a second to breatheJust keep coming aroundHey, what do you want from meJust don't give upI'm workin' it outPlease don't give inI won't let you downIt messed me up, need a second to breatheJust keep coming aroundHey, whataya want from me(whataya want from me)Whataya want from mewhataya want from me"

As the music faded, Blaine wiped his eyes. He had to get control of himself but he couldn't and the tears on his cheeks were quickly replaced by more. His eyes were glued to the floor now; too ashamed to meet the eyes that were burning him from the inside.

Foot-steps were what eventually made Blaine look up. Kurt was walking slowly toward him, his own eyes swimming with unshed water. Then there were arms around him, holding the two boys to each other. A light kiss was shared between them and suddenly (even though he knew everything would be okay now) Blaine found himself rambling, "It wasn't because of you, Kurt. You made it better. I could fight more with you by my side, even if you didn't know it." Kurt pulled him close so that Blaine's head was resting in his shoulder, "Not because of you…Not because of you." Blaine muttered until the tears took hold and he was sobbing to hard to say anything.

Suddenly, there was another pair of much stronger arms around Blaine. Noah Puckerman had joined the hug (surprising most of them), and quickly everybody else joined in. Holding onto the two. Even though they didn't know exactly what had happened, they all knew enough to know that Blaine would need friends. All twelve of them plus Kurt would be there for him whenever Blaine needed somebody.


	3. Need A Second To Breathe

The ride home was silent for Kurt and Blaine. Finn had hitched a ride with Puck, so it was only the boyfriends in the car. Nothing was said for a few minutes, their linked hands were all that was needed. Eventually Blaine spoke, "Will your dad be okay with me just coming over like this?"

"He'll get over it." Kurt kissed Blaine's hand gently without looking up from the road, "I need you to be okay and you need me for that."

Blaine smiled slightly, "I love you, Kurt. Please, don't think that any of that was your fault. You were making it better."

"Can we talk about this when we get inside? There's the long conversation that we need to have, and I can't start crying while driving."

"Yeah, okay." Blaine turned toward the window. He didn't know what Kurt was talking about, but knew he would soon.

A minute later, they pulled into the Furt drive-way. Without really thinking about it, Blaine got out and opened the driver's door for Kurt. He had never done this before and it took Kurt a back for a second. Blaine was always a gentleman, but this was something new. Kurt stepped out though, without comment, and opened the door.

"Dad!" Kurt called through the house, "Carole! Daddy!" He turned to Blaine, "Guess they aren't home. Probably better."

"Why?" Blaine closed and locked the door.

"It's probably better that they aren't home because I want to explain to you why I freaked out like that. Something that nobody knows about." There was a sad look in the boy's face.

"You know you can tell me anything, babe."

"I know. You want something to drink?" Kurt asked while heading into the kitchen.

"Um…water." Blaine followed him, confused.

"Sure." Kurt wondered around for a minute, getting Blaine his water and setting a tea pot on the stove.

"So…" Blaine let it hang there, half question half I-don't-know-what-to-say.

Kurt hopped onto the counter. He didn't normally like to sit up there but didn't really care right then, "I love you."

"…That's why? I mean, I love you too, but…?"

"I like to think that that's why, but it's not." Kurt looked down at his hands, awkwardness radiating off of him.

"You don't have to tell me, I understand."

"I want to. You deserve at least that." Blaine waited for Kurt to find the right words, "I just…I was scared. That's the best way I know how to put it. There was so much blood…I thought you tried to kill yourself, and I was scared that I was going to lose you even if you were still alive."

"Kurt…that doesn't make sense."

Kurt sighed, "Remember when we first met and I had gone to Dalton as a spy?" Blaine nodded, "At that time, I was in a very similar position to what you're in. The bullying had reached new peaks, there was all this stuff with my family, and…I was cutting."

"Kurt." Blaine tried to interject but once Kurt got going there was no stopping him.

"I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't met you, and I was terrified that I wasn't giving you what I was getting from you." Kurt looked down, as the tears started to fall.

Blaine came over and hugged his boyfriend tightly, "You were, Kurt. That was just a really bad night and…everything just took over. I was worse before you, baby. You made me better; it was just one bad night. If I hadn't gotten you back…I would die. I _need _you."

"R-really?" Kurt clung tightly.

"Of course, baby." Blaine left kisses all along Kurt's neck, cheek, and up to his lip. They shared a long, wet kiss, before Kurt pulled back still sniffling. He hopped down and got his tea ready.

Without a word, they moved over to the couch and sat down. Cuddling into Blaine, Kurt whispered softly, "I need you too."

"I'm right here." Blaine whispered back.

"Me too." Kurt put the mug down, and lay down with Blaine next to him.

When Burt Hummel got home, he found his son and another boy cuddled together on the couch. Both were crying softly, but not talking. He went up to Finn's room to find the boy and Noah Puckerman hanging around and playing video games.

"Hey, boys, do you know what's going on with Kurt and whatever-his-name-is downstairs?" Burt asked.

"Yeah," Finn answered, pausing the game and looking up at him, "First of all, that's Blaine."

Puck broke in, "We know that it doesn't look like him."

"Blaine showed up to audition for New Directions and sang Adam Lambert. Then they were crying and hugging each other." Finn continued.

"Then we were all hugging them. It was very emotional." Puck added.

"Somewhere in there, they got back together without words. No talking, but before the duet crying they kissed."

"And now they're cuddling, so it's a safe guess to say that they're back together." Puck finished.

"Oh…okay." Burt turned and walked back downstairs. "Kurt." The boy looked up, "Is Blaine staying for dinner."

Blaine looked like he was going to protect but Kurt answered first, "Yeah."

"Kurt, I can go home…" Blaine argued weakly, even though there was no point.

"You're staying, at least for dinner and then I'll drive you home." Kurt insisted.

"My car's at school…"

"I'll drive you home and pick you up in the morning before classes start."

"But-"

"Please?" Kurt pulled the look that it took a heartless man to ignore.

Blaine slowly looked up at Burt, "I guess I'm staying."

"Okay, kid." Burt left the two alone, and the two returned to their silent cuddle.


	4. Mad World

The next day, just as he'd said, Kurt picked Blaine up. They held to each other for most of the day. When Glee came around, everybody was natural and relaxed with Blaine there. Only because he knew that they would all be there for him if he needed it.

Once Mr. Schue came in, Blaine asked him something softly and the teacher nodded.

Blaine stood in front of all of them for the second day in a row, "So, I changed my audition song kind of last minute and I was hoping that I could do the one that Kurt helped me with." Everybody nodded happily.

Kurt smiled gently and sat down at the piano. Slowly he started to play, and soon Blaine's sweet voice came out,

"All around me are familiar facesWorn out places, worn out facesBright and early for their daily racesGoing nowhere, going nowhereTheir tears are filling up their glassesNo expression, no expressionHide my head I want to drown my sorrowNo tomorrow, no tomorrowAnd I find it kinda funnyI find it kinda sadThe dreams in which I'm dyingAre the best I've ever hadI find it hard to tell youI find it hard to takeWhen people run in circlesIt's a very, very mad world mad worldChildren waiting for the day they feel goodHappy Birthday, Happy BirthdayAnd I feel the way that every child shouldSit and listen, sit and listenWent to school and I was very nervousNo one knew me, no one knew meHello teacher tell me what's my lessonLook right through me, look right through meAnd I find it kinda funnyI find it kinda sadThe dreams in which I'm dyingAre the best I've ever hadI find it hard to tell youI find it hard to takeWhen people run in circlesIt's a very, very mad world ... mad worldEnlarging your worldMad world"

As the piano died, everybody clapped happily. Everything went on as normal, and (for the first time most realized) Blaine gave a true smile.

Those smiles became more and more often, and they were soon greatly loved by the whole group.


End file.
